Khuôn mẫu giới

  1. Lý do cần thiết 

Ở đâu có con người, ở đó có định kiến. Cộng đồng thường có xu hướng đặt ra những tiêu chuẩn nhất định dựa theo quan điểm số đông và áp đặt chúng lên tất cả mọi người, bất chấp tiếng nói riêng của từng cá nhân: khuôn mẫu đã được hình thành như thế đó. Nó xuất hiện ở mọi dân tộc, mọi màu da, mọi độ tuổi, mọi tín ngưỡng, và, mọi giới tính.

Không nghi ngờ gì nữa, khuôn mẫu giới đang là một trong những vấn đề nhức nhối nhất toàn cầu nói chung và Việt Nam nói riêng. Là một dân tộc chú trọng thuần phong mỹ tục, những khuôn mẫu của người Việt về giới tính vô cùng nặng nề. Khuôn mẫu này xuất hiện khi họ có một ý tưởng định sẵn về cách một người đàn ông, hay một người phụ nữ, nên hành động hoặc cư xử – chỉ dựa vào giới tính của họ.

     a. Tình trạng “khuôn mẫu giới” và các hình thức của khuôn mẫu giới

Ví dụ, trong một gia đình, đàn ông phải trở thành trụ cột, ít nhất là về mặt kinh tế. Sự thành công của họ bị đánh giá bởi một thang điểm lỗi thời nhưng vẫn vô cùng phổ biến tại nước ta, bao gồm xe, tiền lương và nhà cửa. Tại một số nước Á Đông khác như Hàn Quốc, đây còn được gọi là tiêu chí 3 chiếc chìa khoá. Trên thực tế, trong một thống kê, trên 90% phụ nữ ở Hàn tin rằng tài chính là yếu tố quan trọng hàng đầu trong việc chọn chồng. 

Về phía phụ nữ, họ được mặc định phải biết nấu cỗ, chặt thịt gà, và thông thạo vô số những việc bếp núc khác. Nếu thang đánh giá vị thế của người đàn ông là nhà và xe, phụ nữ lại bị so sánh về những tiêu chí mà họ hoàn toàn không có quyền kiểm soát, như chồng ai lương cao hơn, con ai học giỏi hơn,…

Ngoài ra, cả người đàn ông và phụ nữ đều bị áp đặt dưới vô số khuôn mẫu quy định về hình mẫu mà họ “nên” trở thành, cả về ngoại hình lẫn tính cách. Những trang phục được mặc định là chỉ nam hoặc nữ mới có quyền mặc chính là ví dụ rõ ràng nhất. Nếu bạn là một người đàn ông và bạn trang điểm, tất cả mọi người sẽ nhìn bạn như một sinh vật kỳ dị – điều tương tự xảy ra với những phụ nữ khoác lên mình bộ áo vest nam giới. Kiểu tóc cũng là một phạm vi còn tồn tại rất nhiều định kiến, khi mà xã hội “quy định” rằng độ dài của tóc nên tỉ lệ thuận với độ nữ tính của bạn.

Về tính cách, khuôn mẫu được thể hiện rất rõ trong cách giáo dục của nhiều bậc phụ huynh. Các bé trai thường phải chịu nhiều hình phạt về mặt thể xác hơn là bé gái, hay được bố mẹ cho đi học thể thao – ngay cả khi không thích, được đầu tư mạnh các môn khoa học tự nhiên (toán, lý, hóa, sinh) với mong muốn rằng các em sẽ thỏa mãn mong muốn của cha mẹ và xã hội: tức trở thành một người đàn ông có sự nghiệp thành công, mạnh mẽ, cứng rắn, không bao giờ được mềm yếu hay khóc lóc. Nhiều người cũng cho rằng tính nóng nảy, thiếu tập trung và không khéo léo của phái mạnh là điều “tất yếu”. Trong khi đó, các bé gái luôn phải để tóc dài, mặc váy nữ tính, tham gia các lớp nhạc cụ hay vẽ tranh,… để trở thành một người phụ nữ “đúng chuẩn” – bao gồm các tiêu chí: thùy mị, dịu dàng, nhẹ nhàng, yếu đuối và không được phép nóng nảy,…

Khuôn mẫu lan sang cả phương diện nghề nghiệp. Có thể nói, ở mặt này, phụ nữ là người chịu thiệt thòi hơn khi ngay cả sự thăng tiến trong công việc cũng dễ dàng trở thành thứ để người đời nghi ngờ. Ngày nay, vẫn có những công việc có tỉ lệ nam nữ không hề công bằng như giáo viên (hầu hết là nữ) hay phi công (hầu hết là nam),… Mỗi giới tính đều được hướng đến một nhóm ngành nào đó mà xã hội cho rằng chúng phù hợp với họ (mặc dù nhiều khi chúng không hề). Điều này trở thành sự ngăn cản lớn cho nhiều người trong hành trình theo đuổi đam mê và hoài bão của mình. Trình độ giáo dục, môi trường làm việc và cơ hội thể hiện năng lực cũng có sự chênh lệch lớn giữa nam và nữ.

    2. Hậu quả đằng sau khuôn mẫu giới

Rất ít người nhận ra sự sai lầm của những khuôn mẫu này – họ cho rằng đó là điều hiển nhiên. Xã hội chưa nhận thức được rằng khuôn mẫu họ đặt ra thể hiện sự thiếu tôn trọng và có thể dẫn đến nhiều hậu quả nặng nề. Đầu tiên, một xã hội tồn tại nhiều khuôn mẫu chưa bao giờ là môi trường lý tưởng để bộc lộ và phát triển tài năng ở mức tốt nhất của mỗi người. Khuôn mẫu khiến nhiều người bỏ qua những lựa chọn khả thi trong cuộc sống của họ, buộc họ phải đi trên con đường không hoàn toàn phù hợp với đam mê cũng như thực lực. Nói ngắn gọn, khuôn mẫu hạn chế tự do cá nhân của chúng ta. Nghiêm trọng hơn, khi một khuôn mẫu được lan rộng, nó thậm chí có thể được đưa vào luật, trở thành trở ngại to lớn đối với phần lớn xã hội.

  1. Cách thức áp dụng 

Khuôn mẫu xảy ra ở khắp mọi nơi, với tất cả mọi người.. Điều quan trọng ở đây là cách bạn đối mặt với những khuôn mẫu cổ hủ ấy. Trốn tránh chưa bao giờ là biện pháp. Liệu bạn sẽ thay đổi bản thân sao cho phù hợp với tiêu chuẩn của xã hội, cam chịu sự chỉ trích không ngừng từ cộng đồng xung quanh, hay dũng cảm đấu tranh vì chính bản thân mình? Dưới đây là năm gợi ý từ chính Tổ chức về các cách đối phó với khuôn mẫu nhé! 

  1. Hãy cứ học những gì bạn muốn 
  2. Tìm những niềm đam mê cho bản thân mình. Đó có thể là bất cứ thứ gì từ thể thao cho tới múa hát, bay nhảy. Điều quan trọng là bạn thử tất cả! 
  3. Tự giác làm việc nhà. Nhà là của chung vậy nên đừng quên việc nhà thì ai cũng phải hoàn thành nhé! 
  4. Tự hào về cơ thể, tính cách của mình. Tất nhiên, điều này không có nghĩa là bạn không tập thể dục và không cố gắng trở thành người tốt hơn đâu! 
  5. Cổ vũ những người xung quanh phá bỏ khuôn mẫu. Xã hội tạo ra khuôn mẫu nên chúng ta không có lý do gì để không tin vào việc tự phá bỏ khuôn mẫu. 

 

III/ Tài nguyên tham khảo:

Miller, Bridget. “What Is Sex Stereotyping?” HR Daily Advisor, 7 Jan. 2018, hrdailyadvisor.blr.com/2017/06/22/what-is-sex-stereotyping/.

“Countering Gender Discrimination and Negative Gender Stereotypes: Effective Policy Responses.” UN Women, www.unwomen.org/en/news/stories/2011/7/countering-gender-discrimination-and-negative-gender-stereotypes-effective-policy-responses.

Hermesauto. “Over 90 per Cent of South Korean Women Think Wealth Is Important When Choosing a Spouse.” The Straits Times, 6 Feb. 2019, www.straitstimes.com/asia/east-asia/over-90-per-cent-of-south-korean-women-think-about-wealth-first-when-choosing-a.

Donald, Athene. “Reinforcing Gender Stereotypes: How Our Schools Narrow Children’s Choices | Athene Donald.” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 9 Dec. 2013, www.theguardian.com/science/occams-corner/2013/dec/09/gender-stereotypes-schools-children-choices.



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